Traditional Engagement in Ghana
When I think about our engagement, oh dear, I have a sheep and a goat in
mind.
But from beginning. Before we went to Ghana to meet Eva's family, and to have a casual get to know each other, her auntie Helen suggested to have a traditional engagement there. We took her suggestion seriously and told Eva's father to arrange the traditional engagement.(We did have a German style Engagement before that)
At the engagement day the guests were all around the house and I wore my brand new white Smoke, (the white symbolises the purity of the mind).I was then commanded to the terrace to meet with the elderly. Eva's father told two young men to escort and support me and so they went with me. I felt a bit frightened, sitting in front of all these strange old people, not knowing what happens next, but what could I do? So the elderly talked to each other in a language which I couldn't understand and luckily one of the supportive guys interpreted for me: The elderly want to know what you want!
What I want? 'I thought you knew already', why come all the way to this house if you didn't, was my first thought, but fair enough, if I have to tell you: I want to marry Eva! was my answer. Again, the elderly talked in this strange language and I had time to have a look at each single one of them. Two of them were really old and obviously the chief had a hat on his head.
Suddenly the elderly got quiet again and the interpreter told me again what happened. The elderly are concerned about my family. Do they really know what you are doing here? With all the engagement and so on? In this moment I was more than happy I went to Germany with Eva, twice! So I could calm their concerns, yes, they know what we are doing and they all met each other. They love each other and they are supporting us. So, which other concerns could they possibly have now? As you can imagine they were talking again...
'The elderly are concerned if the families will get to know each other', said my interpreter. Oh yes, what else, they are very interested in getting to know each other, especially my father, he loves Africa! I think my sister would also come and see, she has been to Africa a few times.
So the elderly discussed again...and I wondered if they told me the truth and they were really discussing these questions and not how to cook me. Better slow in a pot or rather on a barbecue.
Finally, no further questions, they were satisfied! Phew! I did it! They welcomed me into the family, introduced me to my new senior brother Kofi, told me if I ever want to tell the elderly something I should do that through him and started to discuss again. What now?
To finish the procedure of the engagement, you need to bring one sheep, one goat, ten guinea fowls, a fowl and tobacco.And after a few years four cows to complete the dowry process. They want to have animals, really? OK, how does this work? Just talk to your new senior brother, he will tell you.
My supporters and I gave all of the elderly proper handshakes, said bravely thank you and then we went into the house again. There I talked to my 'brother' Kofi. He told me the value of the animals one by one and explained to me how this works. If I go to get the market then I will be charged the value times x, so, I should give him the money and he will go and buy it. That was easy, just go to the ATM and give him, what, that’s a lot! And why? Ah, to finish the procedure of the engagement. So I ransacked our travel money and gave it to Kofi.
In the evening, we were back in the hotel, Moore the driver picked us up. He was accompanied by Kofe and Randy, Eva’s cousin. With the first pothole I heard a loud and strong BBAEAEAEAEHHHHH which was the goat.LOL. So we brought the animals to Father’s house to store them over night.
The next evening we had to attend the celebration of the engagement in Kofi’s house, a quick Hello to all my new In Laws and we were gone.
The next day we left for Accra...
But from beginning. Before we went to Ghana to meet Eva's family, and to have a casual get to know each other, her auntie Helen suggested to have a traditional engagement there. We took her suggestion seriously and told Eva's father to arrange the traditional engagement.(We did have a German style Engagement before that)
At the engagement day the guests were all around the house and I wore my brand new white Smoke, (the white symbolises the purity of the mind).I was then commanded to the terrace to meet with the elderly. Eva's father told two young men to escort and support me and so they went with me. I felt a bit frightened, sitting in front of all these strange old people, not knowing what happens next, but what could I do? So the elderly talked to each other in a language which I couldn't understand and luckily one of the supportive guys interpreted for me: The elderly want to know what you want!
What I want? 'I thought you knew already', why come all the way to this house if you didn't, was my first thought, but fair enough, if I have to tell you: I want to marry Eva! was my answer. Again, the elderly talked in this strange language and I had time to have a look at each single one of them. Two of them were really old and obviously the chief had a hat on his head.
Suddenly the elderly got quiet again and the interpreter told me again what happened. The elderly are concerned about my family. Do they really know what you are doing here? With all the engagement and so on? In this moment I was more than happy I went to Germany with Eva, twice! So I could calm their concerns, yes, they know what we are doing and they all met each other. They love each other and they are supporting us. So, which other concerns could they possibly have now? As you can imagine they were talking again...
'The elderly are concerned if the families will get to know each other', said my interpreter. Oh yes, what else, they are very interested in getting to know each other, especially my father, he loves Africa! I think my sister would also come and see, she has been to Africa a few times.
So the elderly discussed again...and I wondered if they told me the truth and they were really discussing these questions and not how to cook me. Better slow in a pot or rather on a barbecue.
Finally, no further questions, they were satisfied! Phew! I did it! They welcomed me into the family, introduced me to my new senior brother Kofi, told me if I ever want to tell the elderly something I should do that through him and started to discuss again. What now?
To finish the procedure of the engagement, you need to bring one sheep, one goat, ten guinea fowls, a fowl and tobacco.And after a few years four cows to complete the dowry process. They want to have animals, really? OK, how does this work? Just talk to your new senior brother, he will tell you.
My supporters and I gave all of the elderly proper handshakes, said bravely thank you and then we went into the house again. There I talked to my 'brother' Kofi. He told me the value of the animals one by one and explained to me how this works. If I go to get the market then I will be charged the value times x, so, I should give him the money and he will go and buy it. That was easy, just go to the ATM and give him, what, that’s a lot! And why? Ah, to finish the procedure of the engagement. So I ransacked our travel money and gave it to Kofi.
In the evening, we were back in the hotel, Moore the driver picked us up. He was accompanied by Kofe and Randy, Eva’s cousin. With the first pothole I heard a loud and strong BBAEAEAEAEHHHHH which was the goat.LOL. So we brought the animals to Father’s house to store them over night.
The next evening we had to attend the celebration of the engagement in Kofi’s house, a quick Hello to all my new In Laws and we were gone.
The next day we left for Accra...
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